Exile! Do you know what last month was? It was Einhar’s anniversary month. No, I am not married. It is not that sort of anniversary! It was just over a year ago that I, the mighty Einhar Frey, captured your stupid heart. I had planned a big celebration feast, but a rhex broke loose and ate my cookbook. Do not worry! I ate that rhex the very same night, so in a way, I ate my own cookbook! In a more concrete way, I ate book paste drenched in rhex goo. It was not good, because I did not have my cookbook available when I cooked my cookbook.

While wrestling the beast to the ground with my impressive brawn, I knocked over a crate that I scavenged. It was addressed to some gear manufacturer (or possibly destroyer), and contained very thin, soft armour and books with many beautiful pictures. These are not the objects of a survivor, so I do not need them. In fact, I don’t really remember scavenging them, but Einhar does not remember many things, such as where I live!

Do you want these glossy books and flimsy vests? You look like you need them. I also have many very beautiful armours which do not make you any better at living or killing. Survivors have no need for such things, and they are taking up valuable rhex corpse space.

Oh, Exile! I have just thought of a most wondrous idea! Show Einhar what he means to you. You do not need to impress me, for you are already my best friend, but please try anyway. Show me your talents! Paint a heroic picture, or write a mighty poem, or eat a very large haunch in impressively few bites, just like Einhar. I do not like to take my mask off for very long, because my face gets cold. Impress me however you want, and you may receive these useless artifacts. Whatever you do must include me somehow.

The best three, as judged by Einhar -- that is me! -- will get an opportunity to design the name and appearance of a Rogue Exile. Perhaps they too will be Einhar’s best friend! The three most worthy will also get some dusty crate junk from the gear factory (or dump).

The next best seven only get these disappointingly un-soaked-in-beast-blood objects, as well as an artist’s rendition of me, looking handsome (though you cannot see it behind the mask).

Runner ups (runners up? (people who run up? (is that not flying? (I guess just birds)))) also get 250 “points”. I do not know why you need so many arrowheads.

I am looking for submissions which display the most skill, entertain or compel, and most importantly, make Einhar look as fierce and stylish as he naturally is. You have until Monday the 29th of April at 5pm NZT, which stands for Nice Zana Time, which is all the time! Poor Zana… I think maybe she is going mad. She gave me a painted rock and told me it was a map. Rocks are not maps! I still have her rock. It is not one of the prizes.

Here are some other things Einhar has been told to say. Ahem:

• Any work that is submitted must be your own and must be created after the launch of this competition
• Multiple submissions are welcome.
• If you want to create a montage or mash-up of other artists' work or videos, this is permitted as long as it follows all legal guidelines of fair use standards. (Please do not mash anything illegally, such as with Zana’s rock. If Zana says you can mash something with her rock, please let me see, unless it is a surprise. I love surprises.)

If you want to enter then you must post your entry in this thread. I do not know what any of that means. How do you put something into thread? There is no room! It is just hair!

Now go. The First Ones are watching you. Do not disappoint them!